Talk:Tips for solo women

The CouchSurfing Wiki, an informal workspace which anyone can edit.

Lonely planet guides usually have such a section and it is well done.

Maybe someone can take some inspiration from that and make this text less paranoid uptight? Guaka ^{Talk CS} 16:56, 6 October 2006 (EST)

First of all, whomever edited the first part of this text has inserted incorrect/misleading information - i.e. "If you are ashamed to leave a reference, contact an Admin" - this is misleading, and goes against our policy of leaving references. Why is there no way to edit the top part, and can someone please let me know how it is decided as to which that are editable?? Also, though I didn't write this section, and I agree it is a bit long, "paranoid" is easy to say when you've never been a female alone traveling Kasper.. :) - Dani

Sorry, at the moment the first part is only editable like that from the wiki, not from CS.com. You can use this link for instance.

Contacting an admin seemed the right thing in case of an embarrassing situation. I didn't know this was against policy.

I agree with the above. In most cases of sexual assault, the offender usually uses very convincing arguments to make the victim keep silent, especially if the offender has some position of power. Writing a negative reference may be way too much to ask. The option of contacting an admin should 'officially' exist (only works if there's some kind of follow-up, though). --DorsetDave 22:41, 6 September 2009 (UTC)

I first asked amylin what she thought, and she considered paranoid not too far off. And even though I have never been a woman travelling alone, I hung out a lot with women travelling on their own (well, apart from when I was hanging out with them) and the text as it was is too uptight for a woman travelling in Europe and North America. For instance, I know many girls hitchhiking on their own...

Thanks for editing! :) Guaka ^{Talk CS} 14:45, 7 October 2006 (EST)

Thanks Kasper - I feel that we often forget the range of people using couchsurfing. For instance, I have encountered more than a few 18 year old women, fresh out of college, who are embarking on their first trip away from home and are turning to couchsurfing. It's sometimes easy to just rely on the network, but with our growth it is important to remember that we don't interview members individually and our membership is experiencing alot of growth! Even 'vetran' travellers have reported safety concerns, and actually - the majority of safety comments have come from women (experienced couchsurfers) surfing in.. EUROPE - this is a fact! These initial suggestions were devised by women couchsurfers who are vetran travelers. Remember, our 'audience' on couchsurfing is very broad. Safety is a big concern, and I don't think these tips will make anyone not travel.. however, it is hoped that everyone in general takes appropriate measures to ensure their own safety, and sometimes with a friendly framework like CS interfaces, people forget to do their homework. Don't get me wrong, I've NEVER had an unsafe CS experience, but it is not unreasonable to suggest that others have had moments of discomfort, and we hope that members will take accountability for their safety choices. As for referencing, we consider this VITAL for the integrity of the network, and encourage any and everyone who has had a less-than-positive experience to reference it.

I also moved up a paragraph which highlights how couchsurfers should thoroughly read profiles, references, and friend links. This is very important which is why I've moved it up. Thanks - dani

• Totalmente^TalkCS: I've always felt uncomfortable with these type of pages, wheter it is in a guidebook or in a wiki. I would rather see a page that refers to "Solo Travelers" and not to women in particular, it is already stated in the text that this may apply for men too! I think that pointing out safety precautions this way rather creates a feeling of insecurity amongst those that are within the group. For me it goes with the global-"scare-women-to-stay-home"-campaign that is so imprinted in our culture that we can't see beyond it. Can this be changed to "Solo Travelers" instead? Best regards, Totalmente

Having people accompany you home

There was a discussion on IW about men that would not accompany women home. I'm not a member of that group, so I can't post there.

This is a translated quote from the German police on sexual assault and rape:

   Who are the perpetrators?
   
   In around two-thirds of all rapes reported, the perpetrator and victim 
   already knew each other to some degree before the crime; there are always 
   offenders that believe they have earned "rights" if they have:
    
   * Accompanied someone home
   * Been invited "up for a coffee"
   * Already exchanged intimacies 
   
   There are extremely few cases of offenders that are lonely psychopaths or 
   serial rapists.
   
   In close relationships... [not so relevant]
   

Source: [1]

I know this is Germany, not the world - but I doubt the situation is different anywhere else.

I'd suggest a point as follows (should be obvious, but then so should many of the other points):

• Chivalry may seem like a welcome change nowadays, but beware - many offenders use chivalry as a cover. So if a man offers to walk you home, or to the hostel, bus stop or train station after a meet, make sure you know that he is trustworthy - he may have ulterior motives.

--DorsetDave 22:25, 6 September 2009 (UTC)